Post Date December, 02 2023
Marriage can only accommodate two people, so the world of love becomes narrow, and many emotions have no place to vent. The lover becomes the only recipient. Some people have a strong desire for control, and they can't help giving orders to each other, which ultimately leads to marriage failure. Indeed, most marriages with a strong desire for control fail.
"No one wants to be controlled by others, because under their control, they cannot be themselves, and they have no right to be themselves. How can we talk about happiness?"? Moreover, when we are controlled to do things according to the orders of others, we are prone to a sense of inferiority and frustration, and our psychology is definitely unbalanced. Modern society is a society that pursues equality. Why should I obey others? Moreover, in this controlled marriage, the controlled party often cannot feel respect, which is the basic spiritual wealth that people most desire. Without respect, it is equivalent to having no rights and no identity.
"If there are only two people in this narrow love world, and one of them has to control the other, what a sad thing it would be. The world is only about you and me, and I still have to live for you.". Love emphasizes equality and respect. When you treat the other person like a servant, he or she is not considered your lover, especially when encountering something he or she is unwilling to do from the bottom of his or her heart. Do you think he or she will willingly listen to you? Everyone has principles and violates the bottom line. He doesn't recognize anyone. As long as you exert your control desire to control the other person, you become a fool who thinks you are superior to him. You are willing to be with him, but he still doesn't want to be with you!
Since a strong desire for control can easily lead to marriage failure, how can we detour to save marriage?
Transposition thinking. If you were the person under control, what would you think in your heart, would you also be unable to bear it? Especially when the other person is still your favorite person, do you plan to always be submissive to her? Perhaps once or twice, you will still strive to tolerate as long as he is happy, but over time, are you willing to continue to be wronged? Would you still like to be led by her nose? Would you still like to accompany him as a "servant"? If you hate such a partner yourself, you probably know that moderation is enough. It is often said that in love, one is willing to humble oneself, and one should also take the other person seriously. If you look at your lover with a low profile, then your love will quietly leave. When you want to control the other person, please put yourself in a different position and think about it. I believe that you will never like the feeling of being manipulated by others, let alone the sense of being controlled by others. Do not do to others what you don't want.
Self suggestion. Some people have this problem, and they can't help but want to control others to gain a sense of achievement and superiority. From a psychological perspective, this is a pathological state, and at this time, it is necessary to use psychotherapy to save your marriage. Before you want to control the other person, calm down and don't speak. You silently count for five seconds in your heart. After taking a deep breath, your desire for control will decrease significantly. Afterwards, you can give yourself a hint in your heart that if you allow your desire for control to do whatever you want, your marriage will be in danger. Feeling this insecurity, your heart will control itself and calm down.
The desire to control is a manifestation of selfishness. Perhaps when you control someone, you take it for granted in love, but you don't know that it is the culprit that destroys marriage. There is a limit to everything. You can ask the other person to do something for you as a lover, but by no means let him obey you.
