Post Date December, 03 2023
Clegg Malkin, a clinical psychologist at Harvard University Medical School in the United States, believes that being cheated by our partner will make us deeply painful. Now, the most simple and plain words and actions of our partner seem to be full of subtext: does she want to sweep me out? What does he mean by "meeting a friend"? Once disloyalty makes it difficult for you to see things as normal, and everything feels wrong.
Even if the other party is not unfaithful, we often feel insecure: Are we still excellent? Will your partner find a better person? Serious loss of control over emotional security will lead to a result of desperately trying to regain control, which is the cause of jealousy. Jealousy is addictive and only makes you feel more and more insecure. Markin put forward four suggestions to eliminate jealousy:
1. Acknowledge jealousy.
Please share your jealousy with your partner, but don't blame each other, and clearly put forward your request: "I feel a little insecure. If we make an appointment to meet later, I will feel better." Ask for specific actions to make you feel safe, such as making an appointment to call each other several times a day to tell each other how it is today. The more contact, the less jealousy.
2. Adjust the pressure.
Jealousy is a kind of stress reaction. You will be more jealous when you are anxious. Adjust your mood by proper exercise, balanced diet and seeking social support.
3. Seek affirmation.
When talking with your partner, use the statement sentence with "I" as the subject, for example: "I feel a little jealous of the time you spent with her. Can you talk about your relationship?" Rather than angrily accusing or ignoring the other party, it is better to explain the situation directly.
4. Define the bottom line.
If you always ask your partner who is with you, your relationship will be on the red light. If there is nothing you can't see, the other party should take the initiative to inform you regularly. You don't need to ask often. If you are in a panic all the time, no matter what the other party says, you can't be reassured, which means that you may not be suitable, and you may have to consider breaking up.
