Post Date December, 03 2023
Extramarital affairs and one night stands emphasize sexual needs and are not the root cause of marital breakdown. The main reason for divorce is psychological conflict between couples, with the core being the lack of attention and respect from the other party and the inability to feel the existence of love. This is manifested in the "Four Killers", which have long troubled people in the "besieged city" and also made those outside the city fearful and hesitant to approach the palace of marriage.
No.1 "Killer" - Accusations
I see you're getting senile dementia, in your thirties, even more forgetful than your mother. You're just heartless and heartless, you're a pig's brain
Accusations and complaints are different. Complaints are only aimed at the specific faults of the other party, such as "we agreed to cook and wash the dishes, but you always didn't wash the dishes, and I was very angry that you didn't wash the dishes yesterday." Accusations, on the other hand, are unrestricted negative language used to attack the other party's personality. Accusation is the act of erasing the other person's personality and trampling on their self-esteem, which has a significant destructive effect on marriage.
# 2 'Killer' - Disdainful
Oh, that's all you have in mind, always giving yourself excuses. Do you think you can solve the problem? Huh
Disdain is an expression of disgust towards the other party, manifested in sarcasm, as well as direct naming, rolling eyes, sneering, malicious imitation, and making hostile jokes. It is caused by long-term negative views towards the other party. Once your spouse feels that you dislike him or her, there will be a gap between the two, which will inevitably lead to more conflicts.
Killer 3- Defense
Recently, there has been a lot of work pressure and I don't have time to take care of you. This is also something I can't do. As an adult, you should be able to take care of yourself
Defense, on the surface, may seem like an excuse for oneself, but in essence, it is still a form of attack, implying that the other party has caused trouble to oneself: "The problem is not with me, but with you." Research has shown that defensive behavior in marriage cannot have the expected effect and often escalates marital conflicts.
Number 4 "Killer" - Cold hearted
The husband returned home from work, facing his wife's endless nagging and criticism. He watched TV, read newspapers, or surf the internet without saying a word and appeared indifferent.
The "offensive and defensive battle" in marriage conflicts progresses to a certain extent, and one party suddenly withdraws in a silent manner - indifference. Both husband and wife may play cold roles, but husbands are more common. This is a negative choice for people after being constantly attacked. Coldness seems to have avoided a war, but at the same time, it also avoids one's own marriage. Couples in marriage need to communicate from both physical and mental aspects to jointly solve problems in life. The harm of "cold violence" to marriage is no less than that of "hot war" between couples.
