Post Date December, 03 2023
I often encounter many emotional issues and have seen many people around me have emotional and marital issues. Many people (especially women) often lose their support, direction, and even don't know how to survive after a change in their relationship, their partner's legs cracking, or a sudden breakup, because it's too sudden. Moreover, who would be prepared to break up?
But I often think that if you buy insurance because you may get sick, have an accident, or even have insurance for your car, because you may get hit or accident accidentally, you will also have insurance when flying, and you will also have medical insurance or cancer insurance when you are young... then you must believe that there will be many changes in life that you cannot expect, so you need to be prepared. However, you won't prepare for emotions alone because you don't think emotions can also change or be unexpected? Do you think saying it will always be a lifelong guarantee? As long as we get married, won't it change?
Alternatively, if you believe that relationships are full of changes, you may also be afraid that the other person may change their heart, not love you in the future, abandon you, or even ensure that marriage remains unchanged. But, from a different perspective, perhaps it's you who changed and you who don't love me! In this age of changeable relationships, the divorce demography is as high as 50%. You see many news about divorce affairs every day. Why don't you worry that it's your next turn? You won't change?
It's not that I'm pessimistic, but that I think people nowadays should face all of this more pragmatically, rather than living in the fantasy of forever happy together in fairy tales and thinking that this should be the same ending. Thinking that marriage is the happy ending of love.
However, it's not that you know that current relationships are full of too many temptations and variables, so you just reject them all, or when you encounter bad people, you say: there are no good men in the world! I quite disagree because there are also good people in the world, but you just happen to encounter bad ones. So, what you should review is your judgment. If others are bad, you can stop loving them, right? You can also choose the right one to love.
It is not because of the high divorce demography and the number of people who have affairs and are suspicious, so you totally distrust your feelings and your spouse, and live a life of stealing mobile phones, trying to catch rapists and being suspicious. Even treating one's own lack of trust and insecurity as a way to constrain and control the other party. Talking about love seems like playing in the CSI crime series, with different villains to catch in each episode, or living a life where judges interrogate prisoners every day. This kind of relationship is also too difficult.
I think a more pragmatic idea is to abandon the naive fairy tale fantasy that emotions will never change, and also to let go of my negative attitude of not trusting emotions or the other person. Otherwise, you will not be happy, and your partner will not be happy either.
Looking at relationships from a more pragmatic perspective, since you know that relationships may encounter crises, you need to manage your relationships well and handle their problems.
Just like there is a saying that talking about a relationship is like moving to a new home. When you first move in, it's very new, clean, and beautiful. However, you may become lazy and slack off, not cleaning your own house, stacking too much clutter, and not organizing it (equivalent to not managing a relationship between two people, not solving problems, or putting things in order). In the end, there are cockroaches and ants (third parties). In fact, the third party is wrong, and there are also problems between you. This is just the difference between chicken laying eggs and egg laying chickens. So, relationships and marriages really need to be managed and managed, rather than taken for granted or neglected.
Of course, if the house itself has unsolvable problems (such as the other half's problems or unsolvable problems between you), you can even consider moving out or changing houses. These are all your choices.
I think the crisis awareness in relationships is that you need to understand how to manage them, knowing that relationships can also change. If you cherish your relationships and love each other, you need to manage your relationship well, so that your relationship becomes more stable and better over time. Because no one should take it for granted to treat you well and love you, and you should not take their efforts for granted. The longer you spend together, the more you need to know how to cherish and respect them. Only in this way can a relationship last and be happy forever, right?
On the other hand, you also need to manage yourself well. You need to keep yourself in a state of being loved by others. Simply put, maintaining good competitiveness is not about seducing others to prove your charm, but about making them appreciate you and feel proud and happy to be with you.
Many people, because they have been in a stable relationship for too long, believe that the other person should love them for a lifetime, and then give up on themselves, believing that as long as they give everything to the other person and their family, the other person will thank them. However, neglecting to love and take care of oneself, and even wronging oneself, may not necessarily result in receiving gratitude and love from the other party.
In fact, I think there are many reasons why your partner is willing to be with you all the time, including responsibility, compassion, and necessity. However, a long-term and beautiful relationship is actually built on him feeling great about you and maintaining his appreciation for you. Of course, responsibility and obligation are important, but if he still maintains love for you and becomes an old partner who can flirt and play romantic games, wouldn't it be better?
Holding a sense of crisis in emotions is not about doubting, distrusting, or denying, but rather, you know better how to cherish emotions and yourself.
Because I don't know how long I can love and where I will live, so in order not to cause regret in the future, I would rather be kind to him and cherish the present. Because we are not sure if the other party must love us for a lifetime, we need to understand independence, take care of ourselves, maintain economic independence or the ability to make a living. If the other party leaves, we can still live with dignity.
Because you know that love cannot be a meal, love is not your whole world, and marriage is not the whole of your life, so you should take good care of your life. Don't make love the center of your life, but you can take care of family, family, friends, work, interests... Many things are taken care of well, and a woman who won't fall down because of losing love is more worthy of respect and better love.
And the more you understand how to cherish and manage emotions, cherish yourself, and make your life better, the more you have the ability to be happy. Because you can give, your heart is rich enough, you can afford it, and you can get it.
The sense of crisis in emotions is an optimistic and positive attitude based on pessimism. If you know how to take care of yourself and your relationship because you are afraid of getting sick, you should also know how to take care of yourself.
