After many couples get married, after the baptism of time, love becomes no longer romantic and sweet. The attraction and novelty between husband and wife gradually fade away, and they are burdened with a lot of trivial matters all day long. Various practical contradictions have led to arguments, abuse, and even fists and kicks between the two people who originally loved each other. Most of the reasons for this phenomenon are due to poor communication skills, which exacerbates conflicts.
Couples should never use others to disparage their spouse
In ordinary couples' conversations, the most taboo and easiest way to provoke conflicts is to compare the husbands and wives of others and belittle their own husbands or wives. For example, it is often said that such things as, "Look at the husband of someone else's XX. He has a flexible mind and has climbed to the top rank in a few years. You look like a loser now!" "With the same income, the daughter-in-law of someone else's XX will manage the family. What about you? Monthly overspend, you're really a loser!"
As the saying goes, "People are more angry than others." If the other party accepts the criticism and swallows it, it's okay to be afraid that the other party will retaliate by saying, "If he (she) is good, why don't you go with him (her)?" If this goes on, the emotion originally caused by a small matter will expand into a vicious fight within the family, inevitably leading to cracks in the relationship between the husband and wife. Therefore, in order to handle the relationship between husband and wife well, it is really necessary to start from speaking with moderation.
Husband and wife should also be cautious in their usual quarrels
After many people get married, they think that the other person has become "their own person," and they begin to behave in language without being polite, without scruples, and say whatever they want. In fact, such a long time can also affect the feelings between couples. Although it is said that true feelings need to be revealed in the conversation between couples, excessive "disclosure" can lead to resentment from the other party, and some excessive language can also harm the self-esteem of the other party.
Couples live together almost every day, so the content of their conversation is also inclusive and omnipresent. Due to the special psychology between husband and wife, such as the desire to be loved, selfishness, and randomness, the conversation between husband and wife has become the most relaxed and difficult, which is also an important reason for the difficulty in grasping moderation.
For example, some couples are accustomed to using dirty words, using harsh language, or even using aggressive words to humiliate each other in their daily lives, which can easily harm the relationship between the spouses. Especially, some men may even engage in actions if they do not agree with each other. In this violent family environment, it is difficult for couples to maintain a broken relationship.
Recall that if a friend's words or behavior irritated you, you can distance yourself for a period of time until the anger subsides before seeking out the friend. However, no matter how angry your spouse is, distance cannot be used to avoid it. Over time, both parties will become increasingly estranged. Therefore, understanding between spouses is particularly important, and mutual understanding is also the basis for mastering language and behavioral moderation.
(Intern editor: Lai Jiaxing)