It is the noble people in your life who criticize you
The average person feels unhappy when criticized. When one person criticizes another, they also know that the other person will feel unhappy. If you are a person with an average relationship, you will offend him by criticizing him, so you cannot offend him by criticizing him. People with strong relationships can also be offended if they cannot understand when criticized. Only those who believe that the other party has a strong relationship and can understand can directly criticize the other party. So the person who criticizes you is the noble person in your life!
When I was young, I was arrogant and thought that I was the best person in the world. When faced with criticism from others, I often thought it was provocation, finding fault, making trouble for no reason, and rarely silently examined my own mistakes.
In retrospect, who criticized themselves the most from childhood to adulthood? They are our parents. Which parent doesn't want their children to be successful? Who criticized you most at school? It's our teacher. Which teacher doesn't want his students to be successful in the future? Similarly, those who criticize you today are also for your own good, thinking that you are still a talented person!
Everyone loves to listen to affirmations and praise, which is why there is an ancient adage that "good advice is harmful to the ear and beneficial to action.". Only those who are responsible for you will criticize you; "People who think you are 'worth teaching' will criticize you, people who sincerely treat you will criticize you, and people who are willing to work hard to teach you how to help you improve will criticize you... Good medicine is bitter to the mouth. These days, it's not easy to truly hear someone say something to you from the heart, and others really criticize you for your growth and improvement!"! So, once someone criticizes you, you must cherish it.
When you refuse, once, twice, or three times, no one will criticize you. That's why, when they finally hit a wall, many people asked, "Why didn't anyone tell me earlier?"
In fact, many of our relatives and friends have reminded us at the beginning. At that time, perhaps I thought to myself, "What a waste of words! It seems that no one knows such a simple truth!" Perhaps at that time, I had already "closed" myself up, and I didn't know what it was called "being arrogant at night"
Criticism should have the following meanings: first, to criticize, judge, and evaluate, pointing out advantages and disadvantages, and evaluating the good and bad; The second refers specifically to providing opinions on shortcomings and errors. In the face of criticism, we should be happy, but why do some people feel defensive when faced with criticism?
There are no more than the following two points:
First, I feel like I'm doing it completely right. In fact, there is no perfect person. Even if it is a small matter, you can do it perfectly, but it can never be the most perfect. Understand that there is no best, only better; Moreover, good ideas are often hidden in opposition. Therefore, in the face of criticism, one should adopt an inclusive attitude, and even if one has done well, one should also listen to multiple opinions—— "Listening at the same time makes it clear"
The second is fear of losing face. Some people believe that being criticized is a disgrace and a matter of hurting self-esteem! I think this is a misunderstanding! In fact, accepting or not accepting criticism from others has nothing to do with one's self-esteem; If you really want to be strong and have self-esteem, then receive voices from multiple sources, which can not only understand other aspects of analyzing things, but also broaden your knowledge and enhance your judgment!
"If you don't correct small mistakes, it's a shame to turn small ones into big ones.". Anyone can make mistakes, and there have never been people who don't make mistakes. It's a good thing that someone gives you criticism and correction.
What is your attitude towards those who criticize and criticize you? Anger? Disdain? Or refute? Please don't do this! "Because the person who can point out your mistakes should be most grateful, because he provides you with a valuable opportunity to overcome your shortcomings and improve yourself.". Facing criticism directly gives you a chance to admit your failure. Must be serious and sincere, that is, through language and enthusiasm to prove that you have taken the best approach you think, please do not justify yourself!
Those who criticize you are those who care about you. If you rush to defend yourself as soon as you hear someone say something bad, you can't do anything.
When you hear criticism, you can do two things:
One is to try your best to do what you should do well, and use facts to prove that you are right. It doesn't matter what others say. If things are really not done well, it's no use spending 10 times as much time and effort defending yourself;
The second is to talk to your critics and listen to their opinions. Perhaps you will know where you are wrong. There is no need to be discouraged when criticized. The key is to face up to it. This is a sign of trusting yourself and others.
Being criticized is first of all a sign of being loved, indicating that you are still very popular and that there are so many people who care about you when something goes wrong. Secondly, it can help you avoid detours, quickly get out of the shadows of life or work, and easily move towards a normal life. Thirdly, it can be seen as a treatment. The more criticism you receive, the less mistakes you make, the faster progress you make, and the faster you grow. At this point, you can say "Thank you" to the person who criticizes you.
The person who can point out your shortcomings bluntly is your nobleman! The person who flatters you all day and often blows you up is often the person who is truly watching your jokes. Be aware of yourself and don't dance with it, otherwise you will fall badly!
The process of accepting critical opinions is actually a process of confrontation between people's thoughts, a process of transformation of world outlook, outlook on life, and values, a process of moving from self negation to new affirmation, and a process of sublimation of our thoughts through baptism. In this process, we learn from mistakes, draw nourishment from criticism, and gradually move towards maturity and success. Strict is love, loose is harm. Criticism is a kind of strictness, so criticism itself is also a kind of love, but a kind of high-level love.
Criticism and opinions are a kind of "loyal words against the ear". It is really necessary to "pull down the face" to criticize a person. Criticizing a thing is a way of trusting and placing expectations on the person being criticized, and it also demonstrates the excellent qualities of the critic's openness, openness, and sincerity towards others. Such people are good teachers and friends in our lives.