Post Date December, 02 2023
In Linda's eyes, her husband is a slovenly person. He always likes to leave the magazines he has read everywhere and the dirty socks he has worn everywhere, making their home look messy. Linda has repeatedly criticized her husband severely, but her husband still keeps bad habits, which makes Linda feel very helpless.
Linda, who was pampered and grew up, gradually lost the fighting spirit to transform her husband. What's more, the habits of both parties have been formed. It is impossible to change them in a short time, but it will lead to resentment or conflict from her husband. She found that although her husband was slovenly, he was still industrious, and he was willing to do the laundry and floor cleaning. In addition to cleaning and tidying things, I don't like washing clothes and cleaning the floor.
After thinking, Linda finally reached an agreement with her husband. They supervise each other and play their own advantages in life. For example, Linda takes advantage of her love of neatness to clean up the dirty things in her home and maintain the cleanliness of her home; The husband, on the other hand, takes advantage of diligence to wash all kinds of clothes. In this way, Linda found that the original messy home looked much cleaner than before.
Excessive "transformation" of the other party is easy to hurt the feelings of husband and wife
The relationship between husband and wife is a special kind of interpersonal relationship, which not only requires mutual respect between husband and wife, but also requires staying together in marriage. Throughout the ages, countless couples have found it "easy to get along with each other but difficult to stay together" in their long marriage life. The main reason is that both parties want to transform each other to adapt to themselves in life.
In real life, there are many phenomena of marital relationship breakdown. Although both husband and wife have excellent qualities, they lack the understanding of the nature of marriage and the skills of integration. "Transforming each other" is a common mistake. Because transformation only requires others to comply with themselves, it violates the principle of "respect" between husband and wife, so couples who transform each other often break up with each other.
Mutual "transformation" is better than mutual "integration"
In marriage, men and women have both physical and psychological differences. When they live together, they will inevitably expose their differences. It is the so-called no contradiction, no husband and wife. Contradictions are not a problem. How to deal with them is a problem, and it is also the key to the success of marriage.
Many young couples, after encountering conflicts, only blindly ask each other to adapt to themselves through transformation. This unreasonable request will cause certain harm to the couple's feelings. When there are differences between husband and wife, do not only consider "transformation", but can appropriately solve their differences through "integration". Integration is a two-way interaction. It is to adapt to each other by changing their unreasonable habits, so that both parties can transform themselves, and thus achieve a lifelong "integration" and loving relationship between husband and wife.
(Intern editor: Lai Jiaxing)
