Post Date December, 02 2023
Netizens' letters:
I am a boy who is 28 years old this year. My romantic life is very lonely and I have little social interaction. I have never really had a romantic relationship and my relationship is blank. I have held hands, hugged my waist, and hugged a girl, but I have not even experienced the first kiss or night. As I grow older, I have always cared about this situation in my heart. I always feel that I have persisted for so long and should not engage in these intimate behaviors with people I don't like enough. Occasionally, I have had bad thoughts, but I often dare not do them, afraid of the consequences.
I feel that I live in the current society where there are not many virgins. I have no deliberate demands for virgins, and there is no situation where non virgins do not want them. But now, because I have been persisting for so long, I can't let go of having sex with someone who likes me or has the opportunity to have sex. I have aspirations for love, fantasies about love, and some idealism.
Later, I registered for a blind date website and met some people, as well as blind dates introduced by friends and relatives. They came and went because I liked others and others didn't like me; Others like me, but I don't really like them... I'm tired, but also helpless. I have also tried some social experiences, but they are not considered romantic. Often, only the beginning of meals, movies, shopping, and then there is no end.
The most successful performance is that someone likes her, and intimate relationships can also promote her, but she thinks in her heart that she is not someone I really like, and there is a psychological barrier that cannot break through. So where should I go? If I dare to think or not, please let me know. If what I have written is not enough for you to understand, regardless of whether I receive your reply or not, I have also made an attempt to make people understand. Thank you.
Expert response:
I have seen many letters from older virgins, and most of them are contradictory. On the one hand, they are worried about not finding a marriage partner, on the other hand, they are afraid that "being alone" may lead to extreme personalities, and on the other hand, they are afraid of being entrusted with someone else.
Older virgins have relatively fewer letters. After all, there will definitely be fewer in terms of numbers. I don't think this is a freak or a normal phenomenon because I have been unable to find a girl I like and have chosen to solve my physiological problems through self-help, thus becoming an elderly virgin.
You said you were afraid of the consequences. Fear is nothing more than: fear of being responsible after having a relationship, fear of being entangled with a girl after having a relationship, fear of getting pregnant, and fear of hurting a girl. From this perspective, you are a very cautious and responsible boy.
You said you watched a movie after dinner with the girl, and then there was no follow-up. There are only three reasons: one is not very fond of this girl, one is incompetent in love, and one is sexually incompetent. So, please examine yourself.
The best way is to go to the hospital for a physical examination, and then find a girl to love and get married after everything goes well. People who are loyal and responsible towards their emotions will definitely be liked by others.
