In order to revenge my husband, I played extramarital affairs, and marriage is hard to recover

After marriage, our life was as flat as ever, and my husband was as considerate to me as ever. He is not a male chauvinist and can do some housework. In fact, he spends more time at home than I do. However, he often forgets my birthday and our wedding anniversary. Foreign festivals such as Valentine's Day and Christmas have no concept in his mind. He is not good at expressing feelings and can't say those sweet words. Every time I complain with him that he has never given me any gifts for so long, he will say: "The money at home is in your place. You can buy whatever you like." My enthusiasm is cooled by his words. He said all day, plain is true. But this kind of plain boiled water is too tasteless.

My husband likes children very much, and when he sees the cute children in other people's houses, he will also like to hug and tease them. But I don't know why. After four years of marriage, my stomach hasn't moved at all. Most of the friends who grew up with his husband and his colleagues of the same age have become fathers. His husband is very worried, and the two elders also urge him. We both went to the hospital for examination, and the result said that we had no problems. Therefore, my husband suspected that I was playful and afraid of having children out of shape, so he didn't want to have children, so he stole the pill behind his back. He hinted at me several times, and I told him that I had not taken any contraceptive measures, but he just didn't believe it. No wonder he didn't believe it. I didn't like children as much as he did. I thought it was dispensable. I even discussed with him about Dink before getting married. But he didn't agree, so I gave up the idea. But I didn't expect that the communication actually made a knot in his heart.

Because of this complex, my husband and I had many disputes, and the relationship became very tense. Then at that time, I accidentally found that he often made phone calls behind my back. Later, I tried to call up his call records and found that he frequently contacted a mobile phone number, and each call lasted a long time. According to the number, it was a woman who answered. I hung up without saying anything. In addition, on his mobile phone, I also saw the text message from that mobile phone number. Although it was just some daily greetings, but because of the sixth sense of women, how do I feel that the content was ambiguous.

With these clues, I began to cross-examine my husband, but he denied it because there was no real evidence. For this matter, we quarreled until midnight that day. Later, he couldn't stand it and began to beg for mercy. He said he had to go to work the next day. I didn't listen to him, so I insisted that he immediately tell me how ugly he was. Finally, he got angry and slammed the door. After wandering outside for more than an hour, he came back, but did not enter the bedroom, and slept directly in the living room.

A slip of mind

My heart was so angry that he had done something wrong, but he was more righteous than me. I decided to ignore him. Unexpectedly, he really got into trouble with me. For half a month, we didn't pay attention to anyone.

I'm depressed. I often spend time online. Liyang is an online friend I knew a long time ago. I didn't have much contact with him at first. During that time, I spent more time online and often met him online. I talked a lot. Gradually, I told him all my troubles. The troubles caused by the lack of children to the family, and the various suspected cheating behaviors of my husband in recent years were all told to him. I don't know how I could say so much to a stranger at that time. I just feel that I need a pair of listening ears and some understanding and care from others. At that time, Liyang took advantage of the opportunity to enter. He comforted me from the perspective of a man. His humor made me forget my worries temporarily. Even when he invited me out for coffee, I agreed without hesitation.

I don't know if this is revenge. When I met Liyang for the third time, we crossed the line. After the incident, even I was shocked. Although I love to play, I am not a casual woman. After marriage, I have never thought of cheating. Even if there were temptations around me, I was not moved at all. But now, I have crossed the bottom line because I suspect my husband's betrayal, which is somewhat inconceivable to me.

Liyang is also a married person. As for our extramarital "relationship", he said that as long as we hide it well and do not damage the families of both parties, our relationship will not hurt anyone. On the one hand, I anesthetize myself with his "theory". It is my husband who has done something wrong to me first. Besides, he doesn't know it, so it can't hurt him. On the other hand, I feel that for whatever reason, doing such a thing is disloyal to marriage, and I'm even more afraid of setting myself on fire one day when I can't wrap it up. Driven by this ambivalence, my relationship with Liyang was intermittent. The later I became, the more I felt guilty.

God made a fool of people. Just when I had decided to break with Liyang completely, my husband accidentally discovered the existence of Liyang. It's also my fault that I forgot to turn off QQ when I left the computer, and my husband just wanted to check the information online at that time. When he saw the picture of Liyang on my QQ flash, he opened it casually. The result was that the message was ambiguous. He turned over the chat record again, and the truth came out.

This time, it was his turn to question. I explained that I had nothing to explain. The conversation in the chat record had told him clearly what had happened.

Mutual suspicion

Now, divorce seems to be the only choice, but I never thought that when I asked for divorce, my husband would not agree. After weighing for a long time, he said he decided to forgive me. I don't know how he made this decision, but frankly, I don't want to take the step of divorce easily. After all, divorce itself is a very humiliating thing, let alone because of this unbearable reason. My husband made a statement, and I also made my own commitment to ensure that I completely cut off contact with Liyang and never meet again. I had such a plan originally, so it was very straightforward to break up with Liyang, and Liyang also regarded this extramarital affair as a love game between you and me. When he learned that my husband found out about us, he was eager to get rid of the relationship with me, so he never pestered me again.

It's over with Liyang, but my husband and I can't get back together. When I decided to turn back, I had a premonition that our future life would be difficult, but there was no way. There was never regret medicine in the world.

Our marriage has survived on the surface, but it is scarred inside. There is a barrier in both people's hearts. Although no one wants to touch it, they can't hide it. My cheating has become a stain on my husband's heart that can never be erased. Although he promised to forget the past and forget the past, it is actually difficult to do so. He always suspects that I have a connection with Liyang. No matter what I say or do, he always looks at me with a skeptical eye, and either inquires or is indifferent to me. Two days ago, I came home from work. As soon as I entered the door, my husband's eyes looked like radiation. He kept silent with a cold face for no reason. I searched desperately in my heart. What did I do wrong? It's really hard for people to breathe every day. I felt like I was burdened with a debt that could never be paid off.

On the other hand, the knot in my heart has never been untied, because my husband has never explained the relationship between the woman who is in frequent contact with him. He said it was an ordinary friend, but I don't believe it at all. While he was suspicious of me, I didn't trust him. He checked my QQ and I flipped his mobile phone.

(Intern editor: Cai Junyi)