Post Date December, 03 2023
My husband and I have been divorced for a year now. A year ago, I got divorced due to my husband's infidelity. At the time of the divorce, my son was less than 2 years old. My family is from a rural area. After the divorce, due to financial difficulties, I was unable to support my son. If I couldn't provide him with a good life, it would be better for him to live with his father. Therefore, custody was given to him during the divorce. He married that woman less than a month after the divorce.
After my divorce, I started working and relied on my own efforts to earn money to buy things for my children. At that time, I usually accompanied my children every three to four days. Later, my ex husband said that I had affected his personal life and called me to say that I would never see my son again. He said he wanted his son to establish a relationship with that woman. Every time my son saw me, he ignored her, so he wouldn't let me see him again in the future.
After the divorce, my son has always been taken care of by my mother-in-law, who is very kind and treats me like a daughter. She still secretly shows me her son every week. Once, when the woman saw her son playing, she told him that he had changed his mother-in-law's phone number when he went back. I couldn't contact her anymore, and now I have to see the child through her sister when I see her again. I am not willing to give up. Every time I think of my son "recognizing a thief as a mother," I feel heartbroken, but I really can't give my child a good life. Should I just give up like this?
Ms. Li:
Understanding your grievances here, it is difficult to see your own flesh and blood, and this kind of heartache cannot be described in words. As the saying goes, mother and son are connected, and when your son sees you, he will ignore his stepmother, which indicates that he finds it difficult to "recognize a thief as his mother" and still carries you in his heart, even though he is still young.
Letting your son "recognize a thief as his mother" is indeed a pain for you, and I can understand it very well. But from the perspective of benefiting children, it is also a good thing for a son to be close to his stepmother. Yage believes that you also hope that woman can be good to the child, even though she cannot accept it emotionally at once. After all, you divorced and your child needs to integrate into a new family as soon as possible, which is also helpful for their future growth. In addition, you also need time to handle your own affairs, get in touch with new relationships, and decide whether to see and how to see the child based on the situation when they grow older.
