Post Date December, 03 2023
Later, I didn't intentionally check my husband's phone a few times, but it still showed me the words "I miss you so much," which I didn't want to see. Perhaps because the child was still young at the time, or perhaps I didn't have the psychological capacity to divorce at all at that time, and I didn't even mention the word "divorce". I only said to myself in my heart, take care of my daughter and husband, he will understand my kindness one day, but I really thought wrong.
Until 2007, when I personally saw him come out of the house of a woman from the same community as us at two o'clock in the middle of the night, I was really disappointed. The next day, I went to the woman who apologized to me. I think perhaps due to business reasons, she was also forced, and I didn't blame that woman too much. This time, I mentioned the word 'divorce' to him, but from his words, he never admitted to having a relationship with that woman. He asked me to see his future performance and also said that we should live a good life in the future. Actually, from the bottom of my heart, I don't want this family to just break up like this, but afterwards, he still said he was busy with socializing and returned home very late every day.
In fact, I had already gotten used to this kind of life, until March 5th, 2008, after 1am, when I woke up, he hadn't even returned home. I have a habit that as long as he doesn't come home, I can't sleep soundly no matter what. I dialed his phone number, but after several attempts, no one answered. Just as I was about to give up, the phone ended. But I heard the plot that only exists in novels and movies, and I heard the entire process of him having sex with a woman in bed.
My tolerance and self-esteem were trampled on by him like this. After he returned home, I asked him to sleep in the living room for the first time. I said, in the past, when we had conflicts, it was all me who wronged myself. This time, I won't hurt myself anymore. You go to the living room and sleep on your own. We've been doing this for about a week. One day, while I was at work, he sent me a text message saying, 'Get ready, let's go get divorced.' This was something I didn't expect.
It was only at this point that I felt particularly receptive. Couples who had lived for more than ten years were about to become strangers, but he suggested it. I am still angry. Since you want to leave, leave now. After all these years of harm you have caused me, you must compensate me! That day, we went to the bank and he transferred some money to my card. I saw him so determined that he didn't seem to have any memory for me.
When he came out of the bank, I said, 'I changed my mind. In fact, from the bottom of my heart, I really can't bear to leave him and the child.'. But he said, 'You played with me, you lied to me for money, and since you're not leaving, return the money to me.'. I said, it's just not refundable. There's more to your mistress outside than that. I had never said these words before. That night, when he came home, I wasn't sleeping yet. As soon as he walked in, he slapped me twice in the face. This is his first time hitting me, and he even said, 'I'm just picking up people like you, playing with me?'? At that time, I was really desperate. In front of my friends, I always try my best to maintain his image. Despite all my grievances, I have never told anyone, including my parents.
I wept bitterly about my grievances, but he still waved his fist without any emotion. He hit me for the money? For so many years, I still don't know what his salary is until now. My salary is small and I usually spend it on small daily expenses. I think, as a family, what should we share with each other? He will beat me up because of that little money? The next day, I really felt like our relationship was irreparable. I packed up the old man and old lady who were in the same boat at home and agreed to divorce him this afternoon. Due to too many people getting divorced and getting married, we still couldn't get divorced that day and queued up for the next week. In the following days, I won't be able to enter a working state at all.
One day, I couldn't bear this torment and ran home from work, crying and calling him. He said to go home at noon. That day, I held him, and he also held me. I said, what exactly is the reason? He said that in fact, you are really kind and wise. I just feel constrained by the paper of marriage, and I feel very sorry for you. If I didn't have that piece of paper, maybe I would love you even more. If I leave, I won't leave this home either. In this way, the doll won't know, I really can't understand.
Later, I heard some rumors about him that he had already found a very beautiful young girl, so he wanted to divorce me. I told him the rumors I heard, and he said it's impossible. After my divorce, I will never marry anyone else, let alone have another child. You have to trust me.
As a woman with children, this is what I think in my heart. If he ever turns around, I would really be willing to wait for him. That way, we will still give our daughter a complete home in the end. I am very confused. May I ask the teacher, should I still trust him? Sometimes, I wonder if he made me hear that phone call, was it the device he used? I really don't want to believe that he would deal with a woman like me like this.
(Intern Editor: Cai Junyi)
