My husband and I secretly lived together behind my parents' backs. "I have had four abortions, and the doctors have warned me that if this continues, I may not be able to conceive a child in the future. At that time, I didn't think so much, but my parents were heartbroken about my affairs.". We finally got married. In the same year, my daughter was born.
During my pregnancy, he also did housework and walked with me. At that time, I was very happy. Our emotional change should have started when he transferred to a local job in 2000, and through my father's relationship, he reached a fairly good unit in the local area. My husband is a very capable person. Shortly after arriving at the local level, he quickly rose to a good position through his own efforts. "I'm not as busy at work as the army, but he's getting more socialized. Almost one or two days a week, he spends the night outside. He says he's playing cards, which is also a way of socializing.". I think it makes sense, so I didn't ask too much about him.
It wasn't until the Spring Festival of 2002, when we went back to his hometown for the New Year, that I accidentally saw a short message on his mobile phone. I realized that my husband often came home late or didn't come home, which was not as simple as what he called entertainment. "I asked him to explain to me. He said it was someone else who was joking with that woman's mobile phone, saying that I was too naive and that it was normal for people outside to joke excessively. Only I was so stingy.".
Later, I didn't intentionally go to see my husband's mobile phone several times, but it still made me see the "I miss you so much," which I didn't want to see. Perhaps because the child was still young at that time, perhaps I didn't have the psychological capacity to divorce at all, and I didn't even mention the word divorce. "I just said to myself in my heart, take care of my daughter and husband, and he will understand my good intentions one day, but I really think wrong.".
Until 2009, when I personally saw him come out of the house of a woman who lives in the same neighborhood as us at two o'clock in the middle of the night, I was really disappointed. The next day, I went to the woman who apologized to me. I think it may be due to business reasons, and she is also forced. I don't blame that woman too much. This time, I spoke to him about divorce, but from his lips, he never admitted having a relationship with that woman. He asked me to see his future performance and said that we should live a good life in the future. In fact, from the bottom of my heart, I don't want this family to just break up, but afterwards, he still said he was busy with social activities and went home very late every day.
In fact, I had already been used to this kind of life, until March 5th, 2008, after 1:00 in the evening, when I woke up, he still hadn't come home. I have a habit that as long as he doesn't come home, I can't sleep soundly no matter what. "I dialed his phone, but after several times, nobody answered. Just as I was about to give up, the phone was connected.". "But I heard the plot that only exists in novels and movies, and I heard the whole process of him having sex with a woman in bed.".
My tolerance and self-esteem were trampled on by him at will. After he returned home, I asked him to sleep in the living room for the first time. "I said, in the past, we had conflicts, and it was all my fault. This time, I won't hurt myself anymore. Go to the living room and sleep on your own.". "We've been doing this for about a week. One day, while I was at work, he sent me a text message saying, 'Get ready, let's go through the divorce process.' This was something I didn't expect.".
It was at this point that I felt particularly receptive. A couple who had lived for more than ten years would soon become strangers, but he suggested it. I'm still angry. Since you want to leave, just leave. After all these years, you must compensate me for the damage you've caused me! That day, we went to the bank and he transferred some money to my card. I saw him so determined that he didn't seem to have any memory for me.
"When he came out of the bank, I said, 'I changed my mind. In fact, from the bottom of my heart, I really can't bear to leave him and the children.'". "But he said, 'You played tricks on me, you lied to me for money. Since you're not leaving, return the money to me.'". I said, just don't give it back. Your lover's flowers outside are more than that. "I've never said these things before. That night, when he came home, I wasn't sleeping yet. As soon as he walked in, he slapped me twice in the face.". "This is the first time he hit me and said, 'I'm just picking up people like you, playing tricks on me?'"? At that time, I was really desperate. In front of my friends, I always try to maintain his image. Although I have so many grievances, I never tell anyone, including my parents.
I wept bitterly about my grievances, but he still waved his fist without being touched. He hit me for the money? For so many years, up to now, I don't know what his salary is. My salary is small, and I usually spend it on small daily expenses. I think, as a family, what should we share with each other? He will beat me for that little money? The next day, I really felt that our relationship could not be retrieved. I packed up the old men and women who were in the same boat in the storm and agreed to go and divorce him this afternoon. Due to too many people getting divorced and getting married, we still didn't get divorced that day and queued up for the next week. In the next few days, I couldn't get into work at all.
One day, I couldn't stand the ordeal. I ran home from work and called him crying. He said to go home at noon. That day, I hugged him, and he hugged me, too. I said, what exactly is the reason? He said that in fact, you are really very kind and wise. I just feel constrained by the paper of marriage, and I feel very sorry for you. If I didn't have that piece of paper, maybe I would love you even more. If I leave, I won't leave this home either. In this way, the doll won't know, I really can't understand.
Later, I heard some rumors about him that he had already found a very beautiful young girl, so he wanted to divorce me. "I told him about the rumors I heard, and he said how could it be? After my divorce, I would never marry anyone else, let alone have another child with someone else. You have to trust me.".
As a woman with children, this is what I think in my heart. If he ever comes back, I really would like to wait for him. In that way, eventually we will give our daughter a complete home. I am very confused. Excuse me, teacher, should I still trust him? Sometimes, I wonder if he let me hear that phone call, was it the trick he used? I really don't want to believe that he would deal with a woman like me like this.