My husband and I have been married for more than ten years, and along the way, we have gone through ups and downs. Now we have a house, a car, and our husband also has his own business. We have taken root in Shanghai, and I have nurtured a son and a daughter for him. My eldest daughter is 9, and my youngest son is 6 years old. I am currently a full-time mother. I thought I could continue to be happy like this, but this happiness did not last. My husband cheated and made up with his first love again. The third party is a cunning woman, who is said to be a fairy in the workplace. She chased my husband back and put in some effort. It was also her who proposed to break up. Now that my husband has his own career, she came to pester him again.
Recalling the beginning, when we came to Shanghai, I was only twenty-four years old and he was twenty-five. We were not married and rented a ten square meter house. We went to the restaurant to work together. He worked as an apprentice in the back kitchen, and I worked as a waiter in the front hall. Every day after work was the happiest time for us. Although we were too tired to speak, we were still very happy. We had dinner together and took a walk together. After two years of hard work, I became the manager of the front office, and he became the chef. With the blessings of our loved ones, we held a wedding.
After getting married, I want to continue moving towards the top, and my husband is also approaching the position of chef. We worked hard, but I unexpectedly got pregnant and the arrival of the baby left me in a mess. My husband's first reaction was to take care of this child and ask me to resign and focus on raising the baby at home. He will come and take care of us. I was very moved, almost promoted to the position of restaurant manager, and now I can only pass it by. After a year of hard work, I successfully gave birth, handed over my child to my parents, and returned to my job position.
My husband became the head chef and I learned how to operate a restaurant. A few years later, we opened a restaurant based on our experience and grew bigger. We opened several branches in a row, and I was pregnant with a second child. My husband asked me to be a full-time mother at home, and I agreed. I have always taken care of my finances. Since I was pregnant with a second child, I have been physically and mentally exhausted and have been entrusted to my husband to take full care of it. I never doubted him, let alone thought he would betray me.
Last year, my husband had a classmate reunion and he met his first love. He was very nervous, after all, the two of them had a period together. His first love showed him kindness, but he didn't respond. This was what he told me after coming back from a gathering. I was very happy with my husband's loyalty at the time, but a cunning third party asked for his contact information, entrusted his friends, and repeatedly invited him out for gatherings. Unable to withstand multiple temptations, my husband fell for the bait. Every time he had a party, he would call me in advance and deliberately explain that his first love was present, but there were only seven or eight people. Please rest assured.
I trusted him too much and didn't realize that what he said about a gathering of seven or eight people was just a cover up for their personal affair. The third party sent me photos of her and her husband's hotel beds. I was so angry that my blood vessels were about to burst. From my husband's friend, I learned that the third party was thirty-six years old, the same age as me, working as a senior manager in a company. No wonder when I called to warn her, she looked arrogant. I also heard her mother's phone number. I called her and asked her to discipline my daughter, but instead, I was scolded by the mother of a third party.
My husband also confessed to his infidelity, saying that if I want a divorce, he will compensate me and he can give me anything I want. If you don't get divorced, don't just sit around and get angry all day. What should I do? After being a troubled couple for so many years, he left with another woman and gritted his teeth in hatred. It's very painful and confusing.
Reply from Weiqing Consultant:
Hello. When a boutique man you have worked hard to create is missed by another woman before you can fully appreciate it, this anger is unknown and the resentment in your heart cannot be expressed. The depth of love and the intensity of hatred are also the main reasons for being angry as a wife. When you make up your mind to make a lifelong commitment to a man and never give up, the most taboo thing is that the other person betrays you.
From your account, it can be seen that the breakdown of your relationship began when you became a full-time wife. You know that once a woman became a full-time wife, all expenses would depend on the man. Not to mention that you were respectful to the man, at least if you asked for money too many times, you would feel useless and even transfer the right to control family property to your husband during this process.
Economy determines social status, and money makes him feel like a fish in water outside, which other women miss. You have been at home for years, and you have no idea what his rights and wrongs are outside. The biggest fear between couples is the generation gap, a full-time wife and a man with a career, and the gap between them is unimaginable.
This kind of relationship is like climbing stairs. You stay still on the first floor, and he continues to climb forward. When you reach the twentieth floor, can you still keep up with his footsteps? Obviously not. Marriage is the same. When you can't keep up with him, there will be another person to replace you. In this material society, everything is full of snobbery. Don't dedicate your youth to your home, as in the end, nothing can be exchanged. Build confidence and fight against third parties to the end. You are the protagonist in this family.