I can't stand my husband's simple and rough personality, so I search for emotional support online

I am a nurse, although I am 44 years old, my psychological age is similar to that of a young girl, relatively simple, with high emotional needs, but I do not deliberately pursue unrealistic goals. My family is relatively stable. My son is studying in college, and my husband is a simple and straightforward person. He is not good at words, honest and willing to work, and he is a good man who lives a life. However, I feel flawed in his personality. When encountering conflicts, he will directly lose his temper, and he is simple and rough, disregarding my feelings. Therefore, I always feel that I am very hurt, and I am willing to seek refuge outside of marriage. I enjoy chatting online, and seek comfort and care from elsewhere.

You also know that chatting between men and women on the internet is full of ambiguity. How can a man have anything that just wants to chat? So I always find it difficult to achieve my wish. On the one hand, I want to get emotional support, but on the other hand, I don't want to have actual contact. When I feel in the mood to relax, the people I am willing to find are often not my husband but other members of the opposite sex. I feel like I have been lacking communication with my husband for a long time, avoiding things, and over time, my feelings may fade. What should I do when I get old in the future?

The main reason is that he is unwilling to communicate and has a simple mindset, which I find difficult to tolerate. He always likes to find someone to vent, and I belong to the sullen type. If I were to have an extramarital affair, I wouldn't dare to try it. I may have rich emotions, be easily emotional, and enjoy ambiguity, which makes me a bit confused. Is this good or not?

reply:

Hello, women, regardless of their age, may yearn and fantasize about love in their hearts. Perhaps women are born for love, because they are a species that tends to be sensitive. Women always want too much, and their demands for men are almost perfect. They want a man who can live a down-to-earth life and offer themselves beautiful and romantic love. However, unfortunately, everyone's life cannot achieve the perfection you want.

You say you don't like your husband's personality, saying he's not good at words, simple and rough, disregarding your feelings. In fact, you think this man is not gentle enough, not caring enough, and doesn't understand style. In fact, you are also considered an old husband and wife, and your children have all gone to college, at least nearly 20 years of marriage age. So now, it's not very realistic to ask your husband to still spoil and coax you everywhere like when he was young in love, You have been with him for these years, and you won't be confused about his temperament, including when it comes to dating. He has such a personality that you have accepted before, but why not now.

In fact, it is a change in your own mindset, a reflection of the aesthetic fatigue between couples to a certain extent, rather than how much your husband has personality flaws. As a wife, when your husband and you have conflicts, if he doesn't know how to control them, then if you are good at resolving and dissolving them, how can he become rough? You always try to passively hope for him to be gentle, he is such a man. What can you do?

Speaking of thousands of words, in fact, it's just that your relationship has faded. Your personalities may lack complementarity, but they are generally the same, both of whom are introverted and less talkative. Therefore, communication is not very smooth. In these years of getting along, neither of you has learned to grow, nor have you learned to understand and obey each other, and your tolerance is too poor. In addition, the lack of communication between your husband and wife, and the dull and tasteless life, will definitely make you uncomfortable. For this, you will feel empty, lonely, and cold inside, so you go to the virtual internet to seek comfort. It's actually quite dangerous for you to do this. You will unconsciously sink yourself deeper and deeper, and I advise you not to wander online anymore. In middle age, people should learn to control their behavior. When they are feeling aggrieved or sad, or in a bad mood, they can go to their good friends and sisters to talk to each other. Don't try to talk about love online, and don't casually date the opposite sex outside of marriage. I apologize to your husband for doing so, The second is also destroying oneself. In fact, your husband also has advantages, otherwise you wouldn't have lived with him for so many years. You also admit that he is an honest and responsible person who lives a life. The survival of a person or marriage is like a couple living together. The key is to learn how to live your life well, instead of making trouble out of nothing. Don't neglect to cherish it. Once you truly lose it, you will know its value.