I am 24 years old and married to a 40 year old uncle. My married life makes me anxious

Before meeting my husband, I had several boyfriends before. I am stubborn and it is difficult for me to change what I believe. My previous boyfriends, who were about the same age as me, had no constructive suggestions for girls like me other than accommodating and submissive. In terms of work and life, I actually gave them advice, which made me physically and mentally exhausted. The longest love, however, lasted for most of the year and ultimately ended up breaking up with an inappropriate ending.

I like people like my father. From the way he walks, he has a confident demeanor. His style of handling affairs is very free and easy, he never procrastinates, and his persuasiveness is particularly strong. To this day, I have never seen anyone like him in that aura. Perhaps under the influence of my father, I have high expectations for boys. I don't even look up to boys who only know how to send flowers and make little girls happy. As I grow older, I like mature and steady men.

At a party, I met him. He was dressed in a suit and leather shoes, and his shoes were polished very well, giving people a feeling of shining before their eyes. We sat next to each other, and when we were bored, we started chatting. We had a lot of fun chatting. I had two more drinks, but I got drunk. After the party, everyone else continued to walk, leaving only the two of us. I vaguely remember him asking for my address and wanting to take me back.

I was drunk, my mind was in a mess, and when I woke up again, I lay in the hotel bed. I was so scared that I started doing it. My clothes were fine, and he was sitting on the sofa by the bed sleeping. Seeing him sleeping soundly, I felt a warm sensation in my heart. His image in my mind is slowly rising. Upon hearing the news, he agreed and sent me home. I asked him for his phone number and invited him to dinner in the future.

After we made a few appointments and became familiar, he told me his thoughts. He and his wife are husband and wife in distress. They start their own businesses. His wife, who has no money, accompanies him to eat Mantou with salted vegetables. Seeing that his business is getting better, his wife has cheated, and the other party is still his partner. Unable to accept the companionship of family members, divorced and lived alone for five years. Faced with this uncle level man in front of me, I suddenly felt a sense of love. We had a good conversation, coming and going, and became lovers.

After a year of contact, we got married. I was twenty-four, he was forty, and two couples with age differences got married under the strange eyes of family and friends. After marriage, he still focused on his career and treated me well. After living for half a year, I found that many of our places couldn't get together.

For example, I like to pursue dramas, Korean dramas with little fresh meat, and he feels bored. It's better to watch the news and pay attention to national affairs; I like to eat ice cream. Although he doesn't stop me from eating, he never accompanies me to enjoy the refreshing taste; I asked him to accompany me shopping, and he gave me his credit card and asked me to go with my best friend. He swiped and bought whatever he wanted. I suddenly felt that this mature man, at home, was so ancient and not at all warm.

I am very rational, but when I am at home, I can be restrained and mature, so don't show it. Facing my own family, I still have to hold on like this, I really can't bear it. Home is a place to relax, why doesn't he understand? I am very anxious now. Every time I share something new with him, he always looks like it's nothing to him, thinking that my affairs are just minor and not worth mentioning. The road to marriage is still long, how should I manage it? I am very tired now, very tired