Post Date December, 03 2023
Case: Mr. Zhang and Mrs. Wang quarreled again, inevitably throwing pots and pans, blaming each other, and even developing into violence. Both of them believe that the other party is wrong and feel innocent and aggrieved. However, if viewed from a psychological perspective, it is better to review yourself rather than blame the other party.
Analysis: Before people become angry, there are often reasons, such as thinking that the other party has violated themselves, or that the other party has harmed themselves, so they become angry and lose control. However, this prerequisite is not always correct.
In fact, when a husband and wife quarrel with each other, they both endure and then fight back. This kind of fight back is considered an attack by the other party, which in turn attacks the other party. Both spouses tend to view each other as powerful and aggressive, and view themselves as weak and victimized, which is actually related to the traditional way of raising children in families.
In some traditional families, raising children often involves "filial piety under a stick." As a child, they develop a lot of emotions under the oppression of their parents. After entering a marriage, due to the close emotional relationship, it is impossible to hide any more. Therefore, they vent their childhood emotions towards their parents to their loved ones. If the loved ones also grow up in the same family environment, the other party will have the same emotional reactions, and the couple starts to quarrel, And this kind of quarrel is fruitless.
The solution to a marital dispute is that both spouses should not treat themselves as victims or treat some of their actions as directed against you, which means that they should not be in contact with themselves in any emotion or seek to get angry. Instead, they can adopt a more peaceful attitude. When the other person sees you doing this, they will also change their attitude accordingly. After all, two people come together with feelings. If you accept him or her, he or she will repay you.
In addition, when couples encounter disputes, they need to first think about: "Is it because I did something wrong? Is it because I didn't accept myself that I didn't accept him?" This thought, coupled with communication, resolved many conflicts.
