When Xiao Yu and Xiao Liu met, their families said they were very compatible. Xiaoyu is introverted, and Xiaoliu Zehao is forthright. Her family thinks that the two can complement each other, so that Xiaoyu will not suffer losses outside, and Xiaoliu's character will also converge under the influence of Xiaoyu. However, this completely different personality led to frequent problems after marriage. Xiao Yu rushed back to her parents' home every two days and refused to tell her parents the truth.
In real life, it is not uncommon for couples with different personalities, such as Xiaoyu and Xiaoliu. Many couples who seem to have complementary personalities, because they do not know how to get along, make this advantage become a disadvantage. However, couples with absolutely identical personalities are rare. The key is to learn how to get along with each other, not to "transform" each other by any means, but to overcome their friction through adjustment, adaptation and integration. For couples with different personalities, the main ways to get along are as follows.
Exchange roles and be considerate of each other
A straightforward husband and a indecisive wife, or a flamboyant wife and a conservative husband. These two representative couples live together and often quarrel because of different ways of doing things. In order to avoid this kind of unnecessary quarrel, when they are angry, they can exchange roles before their anger is completely burning. The husband can imitate the way his wife quarrels, or the wife can imitate the way he is angry. Let the other party see how they behave when they are not rational. Whoever sees their spouse's funny praise will burst into tears and laugh.
Correctly judge spouse's character
Everything has two sides, and human character is no exception. So you should not only see the good side of your spouse's character, but also accurately find the side that makes you feel distressed. Then tell the other party to try to overcome the bad side. For example, if your wife is a spendthrift and you are very frugal, you can negotiate with your wife how much money you need to spend in your family, which needs to be mutually agreed by both parties. This is definitely better than a fierce quarrel or a cold war.
Seek self liberation
Don't always scold each other and hold on to the mistakes of your spouse, which will not only make you unhappy, but also make your feelings bogged down. When a person starts a relationship, he or she must accept his or her personality at first. Once they are combined, they will have the mentality of assimilating their spouse and always ask the other party to change for themselves. This very different psychology before and after marriage is one of the main reasons for the disharmony between husband and wife. If you can't recognize this, it will be difficult to get a happy marriage. So both husband and wife should extricate themselves from the dead end of letting the other party change for themselves. They should observe the advantages of the other party more and gain some new unity.
In addition, if you really can't stand the character of your spouse, you might as well calmly consider whether there is something in the other person that can make you counteract your aversion. Because everyone can't be full of shortcomings. If so, you wouldn't have chosen him at the beginning, so you should expand this kind of counteraction to promote your good feelings for your spouse. If you can "borrow" a character you don't have from your spouse and integrate it into your character, I believe your life will be more comfortable.
(Intern editor: Lai Jiaxing)