Post Date December, 03 2023
Q:
"My husband has been having a hard time getting along with my junior, who was a graduate student he took with him (so, it's not just a high degree, it's a high quality. I've already learned that).". Let's put it this way, I know what temperament my husband has. He's a bit vain, and he likes the feeling that students hold him and worship him.
My attitude has always been that as long as it doesn't affect my family, those fake teasing between teachers and students won't matter. Otherwise, with so many female students, how many jars of vinegar do I have to eat every day to finish? My husband and other girls don't have anything more unusual. Just 10 years ago, there was almost a time when I found out in advance and severely reprimanded the girl, who gave up on herself. "But this junior is different. After graduating from graduate school, her job was recommended by my husband, who also wrote a letter of recommendation to her on purpose.". The third child is grateful and touched. She often comes to my house with gifts, and her husband has a good conversation with her. Every time she comes, I always ask my aunt to make a table of good dishes to entertain her. This is to save face for my husband, who doesn't like losing his identity in front of students.
If I had known that this woman is looking for opportunities to hang out in front of my husband every day, I would have had that kind of mind, teacher, I really wish!
Anyway, later on, she gradually didn't come to our house much, and I didn't care. The students in the family greeted each other and sent each other back and forth. Except for a few impressive ones, I didn't remember every student. If it weren't for one time in my circle of friends, I would have forgotten this person if I had seen a very intimate group photo of her holding my husband's neck.
Regarding the group photo, my husband's explanation is that the third child regards him as his father, and his behavior is a bit presumptuous. This reason is not acceptable to me. The way of cuddling and hugging is not that the little daughter is close to the father at all. It's the way of hugging between lovers.
After that, our family never had peace for this woman. My husband used to spend less time at home. He used to be a person, both at school and at home. Since I discovered the photo (which was later deleted by Xiao San and obviously had a ghost), I have had a long mind and sometimes go to school to find him. Neither his colleagues nor his students knew where he had gone.
In the past, as long as he didn't have classes, he was basically not at home or in the office, but now he's fine, and there's no one left. Is that any use thinking? Must have been fooling around with Xiao San!
"I called Xiao San, but she didn't answer. I found her on WeChat and issued many warnings.". It's just some words that ask her to respect herself, "A mistake made at the age of twenty or thirty may take a lifetime to regret." - Isn't that polite? "The label of Xiao San may have a bad impact on your life. Now, you may not care, but in the future, you will definitely know the price you have paid for it!" - Similar to persuading her to turn around, the girl who loved my husband for 10 years said she woke up after a meal. But I didn't expect that this one, this time, is not good at stubble at all.
First, my husband kept lying to me, then he said he hadn't come and gone, then he said he had broken up, and then he didn't match his words. Later, my husband actually accused me of being "intolerant to a younger generation," which is his original words. I was so angry that my blood pressure went up and I had a headache. Is it true? She is a junior, but I want to be "tolerant" instead?!!
"I questioned my husband, but he has been speaking for Xiao San, saying that she is from a poor background, very motivated, and very hardworking. As a single and unmarried girl, she is very aggrieved and humiliated by me like this - what are these words?"?! I'm extremely angry. Isn't she a junior? Don't you know about this kind of thing? Doesn't she know? Am I spreading rumors? Let me not "harass" the third person on WeChat. It's ridiculous. Isn't it she who harasses me and my family?
"I really don't know how to communicate with my husband right now. He doesn't think there's anything wrong with him and his third child, and he doesn't even admit that they have any dealings with each other. I don't know where they are or whether they have any physical infidelities, but judging from my husband's performance, I think it's probably true.". Teacher, my life is almost halfway through. My son is studying abroad. Originally, our family of three had a harmonious life, and there was nothing to worry about. Now, my husband is like this, and he is obsessed with me, protecting my third child. I am angry and ask for help! Please do help me!
Answer:
Men at this age reap fame while also facing temptations. Near middle age, facing the looming worries of twilight and the degradation of physical functions, people can involuntarily yearn for youth and vitality. At this time, if there are young women chasing after them, there are often men who cannot hold on.
From the husband's words and deeds, it can be seen that at present, in his heart, although he believes that you are still a wife, he has obviously deviated from you emotionally. He listens more to Xiao San's rhetoric, which is very dangerous. He lacks a sense of guilt for his original partner, but has a sense of debt towards Xiao San. You cannot continue to give Xiao San the opportunity to act wrongfully. When you stand at the moral high point and accuse Xiao San of what he has done, Xiao San uses a pitiful attitude to gossip and invert black and white. It is important to note that once a man steps into the vortex of temptation, he will forget about morality. At such moments, men will be more sympathetic to the disadvantaged.
The third person you encounter clearly has a strong purpose. At first, she was not afraid to get along with you, and you were not prepared for her. Later, the situation was beyond your control. She ignored your warning and instead complained to your husband. She is prepared. Therefore, you should take better precautions, separate as early as possible, and not rely on the third child's own "conscience discovery.".
"As a third party who has a premeditated intention from the beginning, you will not voluntarily withdraw from giving up on a man. Your beliefs should be firm enough, especially when your husband has wavered, you should maintain calm and sobriety.". Building a family is not easy. We help you guard it together.
