Post Date December, 03 2023
Hello Dr. Li! I am a college student who has been working for a year after graduation. Perhaps due to the relatively closed work environment, there are few opportunities to meet new heterosexual friends. However, during the year of work, I found myself gradually falling in love with a male colleague at work, who is thirteen years older than me. However, when we were together, there was no generation gap and we talked well. He also fell in love with me, but he had a family and children, And I am also very clear that I cannot have any outcome with him, but we love each other very strongly, and I cannot stop at the cliff. Recently, his wife suspected him of having an affair, and he was unhappy. I am also very afraid, but we did not have sexual relations. He said that it was not good for me, and I also know that I cannot do that. We love each other but cannot be together, and unfortunately, we cannot sever our relationship. I am in pain, what should I do? I'm afraid he's upset, and I don't have the courage to leave him myself. Every time I meet on a date, I have to sneak in. Could you please give me some advice and help me?
Doctor of Psychology Q&A: There is a kind of love that we cannot call love. It has the same emotions, the joy of meeting each other, and the reluctant attachment, but there is always a constraint in the world. Originating from emotions, but ending in ceremony. Falling in love with him is not your fault. Love can sometimes have a certain degree of blindness. Due to your small circle of life, your exposure to the opposite sex is limited, and you have just graduated with no social experience, it is easy to have an office romance. However, he is a man with a family. You should make a quick decision, reduce the number of dates, calm down, and handle your relationship rationally and calmly! It is precisely because of love that I want to leave him, make him responsible for the marriage, slowly adjust your relationship to a normal state, and be my best friend. I can see that he is also a good man and has not actively had a relationship with you. I believe that your rationality can overcome your relationship! You are still young, perhaps you will understand through time that not all love has its consequences. What we hold in our hands may not be what we truly have, nor may what we have be what we truly remember. In fact, there are many times in life that we need to give up helplessly. Sometimes giving up also requires courage. I hope you can start a new relationship as soon as possible. If you love him, wish him happiness and bury this love in your heart. Don't continue your relationship, face it bravely. If you feel that working together really can't calm your heart, you can also consider changing your work environment and starting a new life. Wishing you an early break from your emotional troubles and find your true love!
