Post Date December, 03 2023
I am my husband's first love, and before that, I had already had several romantic relationships. When I married my husband, I was no longer a virgin.
Although my husband is good, he doesn't look very good and is particularly stubborn. For example, a few months ago, the new house built by the unit in Fujian, an experimental high school, was about to be sold. I advised my husband to take out a loan or borrow money to buy one, as the unit's new house is located in the city center and is also cheap. In the future, it will be convenient for children to go to school or anything else. However, his husband refuses to buy, and he says that no one can say for sure what will happen in the future. He also doesn't want to borrow money or take out loans, and he is always worried about repaying the money.
We argued several times about this matter. Sometimes when I can't get angry enough, I just scold him for being an impotent man (indeed, my husband's time is too short, every time it takes less than ten minutes). In fact, I don't care about his sexual ability, it's just to anger him that I say this. However, just because of my bad language, my husband didn't give me a good face for a week and always ignored me. Later, I apologized to him, and he accepted. He also said that he would consider buying a house before deciding,
But from then on, my husband resolutely refused to do that with me. Sometimes I dressed very provocatively and tempted him with some small actions, but he refused as always. I think this man is too cautious. In a fit of anger, he no longer wants to have sex with him.
Unexpectedly, in the middle of the night before yesterday, I vaguely felt a foreign object in my lower body. When I reached back and touched it, I realized that my husband was holding me to do that. I woke up in anger and asked him why? My husband hesitated and explained for a while, but finally confessed that he couldn't help it anymore and did it while I was asleep.
When I heard him say this, I was both angry and laughing. How can such a childish husband negotiate things in the future? I'm really afraid that in the future, we will have a cold war or become even more rigid due to some small matters. Blogger, can you analyze how to communicate properly?
Reply:
Hello friend. It's normal for a man to have a small temper. As long as he is loyal to you and loves you wholeheartedly, other small conflicts and disputes can be easily resolved. In Xiao Pan's opinion, your husband is a good person, filial to his parents, and understands etiquette. However, he likes to play tricks on others and loves face, paying special attention to self-esteem. The formation of this personality may be related to his parents' educational methods and growth experiences.
There are some things that he knows he has done wrong, but he is embarrassed to admit. He is an introverted man, and naturally has a short temper. So, when you have differences of opinion, indifference or even a cold war cannot solve the problem at all. Just like before when you had conflicts over buying a house, if you don't apologize all the time, your relationship will probably continue to stiffen.
When two people get along, one should be introverted, while the other should be lively and outgoing. It is important for couples to complement each other's personalities. And this complementary personality is mostly honed through long-term interaction. So, Xiao Pan suggests that no matter what conflicts or disputes arise, you must be the one who speaks first. The era of "men coaxing women" has passed, and facing reality, being a wife who can coax men to be happy is also a good choice.
In marriage, there is no such thing as' saving face '. As long as both parties can get along well, whoever suffers a little loss will not be laughed at. Because your generosity will not only earn praise from the neighbors, but also make your mother-in-law more confident and happy, and promote the development of your marriage life towards a better direction.
(Intern Editor: Lai Jiaxing)
