Post Date December, 03 2023
First step: emotional stimulation
Epstein pointed out that when people engage in certain activities together to stimulate strong emotions, they are more likely to have feelings with each other. Activities that can arouse excitement include exploring, doing sports or putting yourself in a dangerous environment. Epstein invented the practice of leaning back alternately between two people, catching each other behind them, and then telling each other how they felt.
Second style: near water tower
Epstein said that the proximity of distance itself helps people to have a good feeling. If two people consciously approach each other and deliberately let each other enter their personal space, they will soon become intimate. Epstein put forward the practice method of standing at a distance of about 1 meter, and then pulling the distance closer every 10 seconds until the two sides are about to meet.
The third way: cultivate common ground
Epstein, after analyzing the relevant research of Dan Alelie, a behavioral analysis economist at Duke University, and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, believes that although people with great differences may attract each other, people are more likely to become lovers with people who are similar to themselves, regardless of their intelligence level, background or personal charm. Some studies have even found that sometimes just imitating one person can also improve mutual feelings. Epstein's practice is that two people stand or sit close to each other, move their hands and feet at will, but at the same time imitate each other's actions, so that both people feel free to move, but the actions of both sides are coordinated.
The fourth way: cultivate a sense of humor
Epstein cites a 1986 study by marriage counselors Janet Raul and Robert Raul that in a long and happy relationship, lovers always make each other laugh. Other studies have shown that women are more likely to fall in love with male partners who can make them laugh.
The fifth way: keep fresh
Epstein said that the research by Greg Strong, a psychologist at Florida State University, found that when people work together on things they have never done before, it helps to improve their feelings.
Sixth style: relax psychological defense
Being vigilant at all times often turns people away. Relaxing vigilance in front of the right person at the right time is very helpful to the cultivation of feelings. However, Epstein pointed out that trying to use alcohol to paralyze nerves to achieve this effect would make people blind and weak. The practice method he proposed is that the two people hug each other gently, try to feel the other's breath, and gradually synchronize their own breath with it. He said that after a few minutes, the two people would feel integrated.
Step 7: Be an inclusive good person
Epstein said that many studies have proved that people like kind and considerate people. If others deliberately change their behavior in order to accommodate their own needs, such as quitting smoking and drinking, people will soon feel good about them. Mutual tolerance between lovers is also very important for improving feelings.
The eighth move: body contact
Epstein believes that simple touch can make people feel warm and comfortable, and the effect of stroking the back of the other person is magical, even if it is close without direct contact. A study by Susan Spicher, a social psychologist at Illinois State University, shows that sexual behavior can also make people more emotionally intimate, especially for women. However, Epstein warned that people tend to misunderstand physical attraction as a feeling of love, which also makes people lose sight of their partner's inner character.
The ninth style: self disclosure
After considering the relevant research results, Epstein said that after people share their secrets with each other, their feelings will be deepened. Epstein's practice is that both sides write an important secret on paper, then exchange views and discuss it. This process can continue until there is no secret between them.
Tenth formula: wholeheartedly
Epstein cited a study by Simena Ariega, a psychologist at Purdue University in the United States, saying that mutual loyalty is a key factor in establishing a love relationship. People who are half-hearted tend to be suspicious of their partner's behavior and lack trust. In the long run, it will cause fatal damage to the relationship between the two parties.
Teach you a few moves to "practice" love
Epstein believes that one common feature of these ten styles is that they can put themselves in a weak position, and he believes that this is the most critical factor in generating feelings between people.
"Soul gazing method": An exercise method recommended by Epstein is called "soul gazing method": two people stand or sit about half a meter apart, and then stare at each other's eyes, to see as deep as possible, and it is best to see the other's "soul depth". Look at each other for 2 minutes and tell them what they saw.
"Mind reading method": another practice method invented by Epstein is "mind reading method": write what you are thinking on paper, and then use a few minutes to convey your thoughts to the other party in ways other than words, so that the other party can guess.
"The aura of love": two people close their palms, the closer the better, but do not touch. Epstein said that after holding this position for a few minutes, you can feel not only heat, but also a magical feeling sometimes.
