Ten years ago, my husband and I met in a strange city. At that time, I was less than 20 years old and was suffering from family changes. It is not a day for parents to feel discord. They finally gave up our home for their own freedom. In order to fight for my custody, I kept arguing and I hated them. I gave up the opportunity to study, left a note of "severing relationship", and went to the big city alone to fight.
It's really warm to meet people who care about themselves when people are most frustrated. I work in a factory. I am usually reticent and take others' kindness as my pity. I prick them all day, so I haven't found any friends. He was the only one who was not afraid of being stabbed. He told me jokes as soon as he got off work to make me happy. Later, we became lovers. Then, less than half a year later, we got married in a flash.
On the wedding day, I simply sent a text message to my parents and told them that 10000 of them disagreed with me, but they couldn't help me. I didn't expect them to bless me. After marriage, my husband was obedient to me. His family conditions were not good. His parents were low-paid workers. When we got married, we had no house and no car. Because I had a bad relationship with my parents, I didn't ask for the bride price, but simply bought three gold coins and new clothes.
My parents-in-law felt that they did not spend money when they married their daughter-in-law. They were happy and took me as their own daughter. They obeyed all my demands, including the idea that I didn't want to have children. They didn't object much. The reason why I don't want children is to consider that in case of any change in my relationship with my husband in the future, the children will be as desperate as I am, so I don't want this pain to continue, so I put forward this request.
After marriage, my husband and I worked hard to make money, and our career was developing smoothly without children. In the fifth year after marriage, she had her own clothing factory, bought a house and car, and lived a rich life. After ten years of marriage and seven years of itch, I am more and more confident about my marriage. But behind happiness, there is always sadness. I accidentally looked at his mobile phone and found that he had an affair.
The disgusting ambiguous chat made people sick. With a little effort, I also caught him dating a third party in the car. At that time, my mind was blank and I tore at that woman like crazy. In the chaos of the scene, I only heard a "snap". My left cheek was burning and my husband gave me a slap. I was stunned. My husband comforted the woman, let her out of the car and took me back home. I slumped on the sofa and had no strength.
Like the man who cheated in the TV series, he began to explain to me incessantly. He said that he used to be young and foolish and promised to be a DINK. Now he is in his thirties and has no children. He is also worried. Because of his face, he has to secretly have a child with another woman to fulfill his wish, He will break contact with that woman.
At the moment of his showdown, I didn't know whether to congratulate myself on having no children or hate myself for not giving him children. After ten years of marriage, I managed it carefully, but I didn't want him to abandon me for this reason. What should I do with such a marriage?
The current society of the "DINK" is nothing new. Many couples choose not to have children for their career and freedom. This is the consensus of both husband and wife, and your idea of not having children is your own decision at the beginning. The shadow of your parents' divorce when you were a child has led to your strong defensive mentality, for fear that your feelings will make mistakes in the future and your children will suffer. But have you ever thought about how your husband and her family feel?
People's ideas will change with time, age and the influence of things around them. You can't just think that what you decide is the decision of the whole family. You should also listen to the opinions of your family. Now that he is cheating, instead of blaming you for not adding children for him, he also went to find other women to have children. Although this reason is very immoral, it can be seen from it that he is eager to have a baby of his own, but you don't feel it.
Personally, if you want to continue your marriage, you should communicate well with your husband, listen to his ideas, appropriately change your own ideas, and don't act on your own. The management of marriage is not up to you alone. Only two people can cooperate. The preservation of marriage is very important. The birth of children will increase the intimacy of your family. Cut him off from the development of the third party and firmly hold his heart. On the contrary, collect evidence of his cheating and safeguard his rights and interests through law.