Post Date December, 03 2023
I am 35 this year, and in the eyes of others, I am a very happy woman. My family has opened two antique physical stores, both of which have hired people to help keep an eye on them. My son is also in fifth grade, and he is very obedient and sensible. So, my usual life is to occasionally go to the store to manage business, occasionally visit online stores at home, and most of the time, I still gather with friends to visit various places.
I want to talk seriously about my relationship with my husband here. My husband once served in the military, and I was 4 years older than him. He chased me because he would be young and he was still a poor boy. I also worked as a female worker in a textile factory, which was not romantic. He just entrusted all of his savings to me for safekeeping less than two weeks after we met. At that time, we were not wealthy, and only about 2000 yuan was handed over to me. But at that time, all of his savings were warm to my heart, The key is that he has also served as a soldier, so I have a better impression of him. Afterwards, we got together smoothly. His family was very poor at the time, and I was pregnant until I gave birth to the child. I didn't even have a wedding, but I just obtained a certificate. Even now I have a prosperous life, and I haven't done it again. I'm not a sentimental person, so this is not the key to the problem. Everything began to change after the appearance of AA. AA is the first waitress we hired, with a very ordinary appearance. She walks one shoulder tall and one shoulder short, and her only advantage is that she is an undergraduate, which has attracted my husband.
Because AA's family is from a rural area and their financial situation is not good, we let her live in our house. I thought at the time that if someone helped in our store, we should treat them well, so we always treated her like a biological sister. Who would have thought that people's hearts could not reach their hearts, but later she became entangled with my husband. When I discovered that they were having an affair, it was one afternoon that I asked AA to send vitiligo pills to my mother-in-law. Because my mother-in-law had vitiligo, I had always been responsible for getting her medication. After she left, I accidentally saw her QQ chat records with my husband on the computer. He called her a baby during the chat, and the expression of small lips and small hugs was even more rampant.
At that time, I was in a daze. I questioned my husband, but he said I was making a fuss. He said that chatting online about a precious thing is very common now, and he also said that I am old-fashioned. Okay, I went to ask AA, but AA pitifully said to me, "Sister X, it's the boss who sends me messages, and I don't respond very much. After all, he's the boss, and I'm sorry not to respond." Seeing her sincere expression, I didn't pursue her anymore, Just shift the responsibility onto my husband, and I train him every day to pay attention. But later on, things got worse and worse, until AA started not paying attention to me, until AA had a big argument with my son in front of us, and it wasn't until she didn't do anything during work that I realized the seriousness of the problem. One day, she had a fierce argument with my son and left. I didn't make a reservation and longed for her to leave, but I was wrong. Now she was free and had more time to get tired of being with my husband.
That's not all I'm sad about. What's really sad about is that my husband feels like he's sick. When I give him a little attention and have sex with him, he always mentions AA and even calls her mistress. He even says things like, 'You're not as tight as your mistress.'. Once I got angry, he continued to turn his face and deny his relationship with AA. We have been arguing all the time. What I'm arguing about is either getting divorced, letting him go with that AA, or cutting off the relationship with her. What he's arguing about is that I won't divorce you, let alone share it with her. His reason is that he raped AA in the first place, and AA still had property for him, so he must be responsible.
We both argue every day, the most serious of which is when we argued. He beat me up and stayed in the hospital for over a month, claiming to have accidentally slipped and fell on my waist while cleaning the floor. He also argued with me in the hospital, and once he was scolded by a nurse. Divorce is also inseparable, and my son is also fooling around. I remember he said a sentence: "Mom, don't keep saying that my father is not good. If you want perfection, can my father find another woman? If you want to divorce my father, I won't admit you as a mother, I shouldn't have taken on so much at the age of 11. So, I remained silent in the future. I only handled the business in the store and fulfilled my wife's obligation to him, and I never got angry again.
So far, he and AA have been doing this for 4 years, and I have also successfully contracted depression in these 4 years. I have consulted many psychologists, but none of them have been effective. I have also tried to find someone to teach AA a lesson through some channels, but it has not been effective. My husband said that in this life, only AA will take the initiative to leave him, and he will not leave her. My husband also said that he will never want to divorce him in this life. Sincerely tired, can anyone understand? After writing this article, I just want to hear everyone's opinions. I won't have a deep exchange with you because I don't want to say too much more. You can make a straightforward comment on what I have stated.
reply:
Firstly, you are in a sibling relationship. You are older than your husband and lived a simple life before getting married. However, after marriage, there is no romance at all. Over time, as you age and age, your husband becomes aesthetically fatigued and naturally chooses to transfer to another relationship. Therefore, marriage carries risks, and the risk of a sibling relationship is even greater unless you have enough charm.
Secondly, in your words, you have a sense of inferiority that your husband's affair with AA is due to AA having a bachelor's degree. Actually, this is just one aspect. Having culture is not scary, what's scary is that casual women have culture. It should be said that this AA is not really a good product. Knowing that the other party has a family and wants to get involved, it is very unkind to be a person. Her education is not worth envy or even jealousy, because she has tarnished it with her own dirty behavior. And you can start arming yourself and learning cultural knowledge from now on. In a few years, you can also have a bachelor's degree. If your husband just wants to pursue a degree, then you can do it!
Thirdly, in my opinion, the difference between you and AA is not only in terms of educational background. In fact, your husband has clearly told you that there is also a difference in your bedtime skills. Your husband can confidently say that you are not as close as your mistress, which is really disgusting and despicable. Your husband's character can also be seen as average, regardless of whether he has culture or not, his personality is already very low. I think it's a shame to be married to someone like this. You once proposed a divorce, but was rejected by your husband, indicating that he and AA have no real relationship at all. It's just a casual play. He just doesn't want to let go of the colorful flags floating outside, let alone the red flag of your family. To put it bluntly, it's greed, and such a man is lacking in smoking. In short, there is no marriage that cannot be divorced. If you insist on getting divorced, the court can sue him. If you insist on finding excuses to continue living with him and meeting his dirty requirements, I suggest you go to a plastic surgery hospital for a shrink.
Fourthly, what surprised me was why your 11 year old son sided with your husband to scold you. Normally, sons kiss their mothers. This is not only heartbreaking, but you should also reflect on it. What's wrong with you, besides your education background. Only by improving oneself can we face everything in front of us and approach problems rationally. Is your husband cheating, was it you who caused it, or was he too promiscuous?
Fifthly, emotions cannot be fought for, everything is natural. It's fate to come and go, and each person has their own destiny. If you really feel that your fate has ended, why should you seek justice and suffer from it. You are already depressed, will you continue to be depressed? Are you waiting for a day to die for him? I never urge anyone to divorce, but I also never condone anyone maintaining a marriage that has already passed away. Life is short, and if it is decided, it will be broken. Otherwise, both of them will suffer. At the moment, your husband seems not to be in pain because he has two women for his own leisure. You must give him a hard blow, otherwise he will become even more rampant.
