Post Date December, 02 2023
He once got married, and we both belong to the model of getting married first and then falling in love.
After getting married, our relationship got better and better. He was very considerate, and I also relied heavily on him. But one day, I found out that he still had contact with his ex-wife. His ex-wife had run away with a wealthy person, but now that wealthy person is not good to her, she wants to come back. I felt as if he was a bit hesitant and couldn't get angry enough, so he exposed this matter. He said I violated his privacy and shouldn't have flipped through his phone. We both felt justified at the time and were too angry, causing a quarrel. Later, we even had a fight.
I can't bear it. My man ran out in anger because he hit me for another woman. Those days, I was also very frustrated in my heart, and he seemed to have no regrets. He didn't apologize to me, so I got angry and contacted my ex boyfriend to complain to him. A few days later, under his persuasion, I felt unworthy of representing myself. He had been married before and was not loyal to me. What reason do I have to tolerate the little trouble he had with his ex-wife.
Looking back now, I feel like I must have been crazy at the time, inexplicably believing what my ex boyfriend said, inexplicably feeling that he still loves me, and inexplicably having a sexual relationship with him. When he woke up, he left, but later the phone couldn't get through. It wasn't until then that I realized that he had always been deceiving me. I regret it and am also very upset. I have completely come to my senses. I love my current husband and shouldn't betray him like this. I have decided not to contact my ex boyfriend again.
Recently, my husband has always been like a hooligan, disregarding my opposition. He started to mess around in that area at night, even scolding me for being shameless, slut... Later on, I found out that he knew I was in contact with my ex boyfriend. I explained that he didn't listen and said he had received a multimedia message. The photo was actually a photo of me and my ex boyfriend doing that kind of thing in a hotel, and the whole thing turned out to be a revenge from my ex boyfriend.
My husband said he wouldn't make a fuss about this matter, but he felt very painful and would think of me cheating every night. Our marital life has not improved, and the next day he will double his kindness to me, but I feel both pain and sweetness. I also really want to erase this stain from my life. Recently, I want to have a child to improve our relationship, but I don't know if it's useful. Is his rudeness still worth trusting?
Reply:
For a man to cheat, it's nothing more than slapping him hard in front of everyone and knocking him to the ground. All I have to say about this relationship is the following.
1、 From your husband's marital performance, he is loyal to you and kind and respects you. From the incident of your infidelity, he did not blame you, did not make a big fuss about it, and did not choose to give up on your marriage that was not yet emotionally grounded. From a certain perspective, he respects you and is also kind. Such a man is worthy of women's trust.
2、 What you lack is communication, communication methods after conflicts occur. Both of them are not good at expressing themselves, keeping their frustrations bottled up in their hearts, causing things to become more serious than imagined. You can try sitting together with two people, talking about it, and making a choice, even if it's a divorce. What you need to show is an attitude, not guilt, obedience, and lowliness. What is an attitude? An attitude that expresses through actions that makes him feel valued, value his mistakes, and value this marriage.
3、 Improve your existing relationship by starting from yourself. No man can accept the betrayal of his woman, especially a man who has experienced a marital trauma. Even if he chooses to forgive you on the surface, his heart is quite tormented and painful. As a woman, knowing that she is wrong, she should double her efforts to express her concern, love, and sense of responsibility towards this family. For example, being more independent and less impulsive, changing your phone number, having your own job, learning to be a good and considerate wife, and being proud of him
4、 Having children is a link to improve marriage, but it must not become a bridge to resolve conflicts. The child is innocent. I hope that after correctly resolving the conflict, you will bring your child into this world without any purpose, otherwise the conflict will never be resolved and will continue to exist in this child in the future. Time will make people see everything clearly, as long as there is a sincere heart to influence him, it can definitely win his trust. If time cannot make this man trust you again, then you can leave early. Some scars can fester into cancer and forever become an irreparable source of pain.
(Intern Editor: Lai Jiaxing)
