Post Date December, 03 2023
[Counseling] Hello, Sister Chestnut, I have been following you for a long time. I didn't expect that I was nearly depressed because of marriage and life problems recently. My father and I got married in a flash within a month and gave birth to a boy half a year. He runs a car repair shop and comes home very late every night. We have been married for four years, and rarely go shopping together. Every time I take my children out to play, I see a family of three people are particularly envious. It is not effective to communicate with him. He still does what he should do. We seldom communicate with each other at ordinary times. I also feel that I am like a decoration at home, because I am lonely and empty, and I have cheated on him once. He learned that he divorced me and gave him all the children's houses, but the negotiation was to move out after my house was decorated, so I could stay at home for 3 months.
Unexpectedly, two days after the divorce, he brought back a girl in the middle of the night, saying that she was the new mother for the child. The girl was 94 years old, 7 years younger than him, a teacher, and very simple. It seems that she is not able to have children or to love him and give all her love to our children, so she may not have children. I think she is very good, but now when she really wants to leave, she is still reluctant to give up. Although he seldom cares about me, he is tolerant when I lose my temper. I am used to this kind of life. Now the girl let him deal with his affairs in two days, which means let me move out in two days. But I still can't bear it. I also told my father to remarry, but he didn't agree. I'm not interested in anything now. Every day I feel weak in my legs and feet, like depression. I have to be strong in front of my family. What should I do?
Sister Chestnut, the three of us also sat down and talked. I said my best wishes to them, but now we can't do it. I'm 90 years old. My ex-husband was 87 years old.
[Answer] Many women believe that men do not love to go home and do not want to accompany their wives because they have no sense of responsibility for the family, no feelings for children and no interest in marriage. In fact, few men are apathetic. They are just not interested in coaxing the wife who married home to have children. When they coax other women outside and accompany other women, they are all kinds of gentleness and romance. You cheated because of his indifference. After being caught by him, you felt guilty. You thought it was your guilt to give him the children and the house to go out of the house. In fact, you don't know that all this was carefully calculated by him. He has always had a woman outside, otherwise it would be impossible to take a girl home two days after divorce. And he has been snubbing you, just to let you divorce yourself, or after you cheated because of loneliness, he came to grab you and let you clean out of the house, so that he can use you as a fertility tool for free, leave the child after use, and let you go out! In general, you are letting people become free surrogates in the name of marriage.
Do you feel particularly terrible? Do you feel particularly cold? Unfortunately, this is the result of your flash marriage in one month. What's more, if you flash marriage in one month, you will have children in half a year? Is the baby premature, or do you go to bed when you meet and get pregnant when you go to bed? Even so, there is no reason to have children in seven months. In short, you are not the victim of a marriage conspiracy, or you are so confused that you don't know what you have done!
In any case, you have divorced, and now it is too late to regret. At this time, it is meaningless for you to make trouble for no reason or to bless them. Because you are not qualified to do anything now, I suggest you decorate the house as soon as possible and move out. You have given up your marriage and children to them. At present, you have no power. You can only watch them live with your children, and then you leave in a dark mood. This is the price women pay for their low IQ, confused minds and emotional feelings. People can't blame the complexity of society for being stupid. You pay too much for this class!
At present, you have several options:
1、 Negotiate with your ex-husband to transfer the custody of your child to you, so that they can live a good life together, and you can live a good life with your child. It's better to grow up in front of your stepmother than to grow up in front of your stepmother. The price is that your life will be stressful in the future and it will be difficult to remarry.
2、 Don't go away from your ex-husband's house. Since they are also unfaithful, you can't help them until the girl leaves. The price is that you will be a free nanny without name or share in the future, watching your ex-husband live outside with a woman, while you can only stay at home and stay there, suffering without money, name or share, and feeling.
3、 You move out, work hard to live, learn from the previous lessons and start your life again. If you are still young and find a man who really treats you well, there is still hope for the rest of your life. In the future, you will be rich and have a stable life. If your ex-husband and this girl are not living well and the child is not taken care of, you can negotiate with your ex-husband to take care of the child. Only when your life is stable can you take better care of your children.
Choose these three ways for yourself!
