Diligence, frugality, thrift, diligence, and simplicity are traditional virtues of women. However, is it only such women who are in line with the general social values of "good women"?
Is there a relationship between love and money?
At the age of 23, I fell in love with a man who was three years older. He was the client's contact person, and we seemed to have endless topics to discuss due to our work acquaintance, such as careers, movies, novels, music, and so on.
However, we have a particularly significant disagreement on one issue - the consumption perspective.
He is very frugal and meticulous, always urging me to save money. And I always want to spend money on "experiences" and "experiences" that he seems to be "useless".
He has watched many movies, but rarely goes to the cinema. He thinks that online broadcasting is equally exciting; However, I believe that the sound effect, timeliness, and overall experience of cinemas must be better, and the quality of the film can only be fully demonstrated on a large screen;
He is very careless about food, thinking that 'food' is a human survival instinct, and spending too much time researching it is a waste; I would like to spend an hour on the road to eat a bowl of delicious Wonton;
He believes that financial management is quite important. Working, earning money, buying a house, and having children are inevitable trajectories in life, so the quickest way is to go straight to your goals; I insist on not only survival, but also having a life. Otherwise, I have to give some sweetness to work, earn money, buy a house, and have children, which are very stressful things, in order to persist, right?
He felt that when he was young, he lived a difficult life, and when he was old, he had the accumulation to live a relatively comfortable and free life; I also agree, but I also believe that certain moods and abilities only exist at a specific age. For example, the vast majority of 70 year old people no longer aspire to go to Antarctica, and even if they have money, they do not have that body.
I deeply believe that if all human needs drop to a basic level, how can the world develop? Isn't human progress just about being more beautiful, comfortable, advanced, and scientific in basic aspects such as clothing, food, housing, and transportation?
So, we cannot reach a consensus on the consumption concept.
But because of love, I compromised, and I gave in to his way of life.
As a result, even my female boss noticed that I was becoming increasingly listless.
She joked when she swiped her signature on my expense report and handed it to me:
XX. Have you not bought new clothes recently, read good books, ate good food, and even wiped your lipstick? It looks disheveled and dusty.
What do I say?
Women don't have to be ashamed of their reasonable consumption needs.
My female boss has a good relationship with my boyfriend's male boss back then, and they have some understanding of our situation.
When she handed me the expense report, she shrugged her shoulders:
Women do not have to be ashamed of their reasonable consumption needs. We admire thrift and do not believe that money can buy everything in the world. However, we also acknowledge that some experiences and experiences must be paid for. For example, it is necessary to have seen the world before forming a "worldview",
I asked her in confusion: Why are men so afraid of women spending money?
She smiled and said, 'Men who are afraid of women spending money often have three reasons:'
Firstly, he advocates frugality and is equally thrifty towards himself and you. He and you have different views on consumption, and you don't care about right or wrong, but you are destined to not come together. The material foundation determines the superstructure. In addition to hormones and dopamine, there are also consumption concepts in love. Men and women with different consumption concepts are difficult to move from love to marriage - love is emotion, and the essence of marriage is an economic community.
Secondly, he is not afraid of you spending money, he is afraid of you overdrawing his ability. "Money" is his control over the future, and he is worried that he may not have the ability to support you and live too tired. The traditional Chinese view requires men to earn money to support their families, which is their responsibility, face, and dignity. From this perspective, women who "spend money" must put more pressure on men than women who "don't spend money", especially for men who don't have much material needs.
Thirdly, he is indeed stingy. But being stingy is not to be angry. The world is so big, why do you have to hang yourself on a stingy man? Just find someone generous and avoid mutual torment.
I'm not sure if my female boss's interpretation moved me. At least, I broke up with him not long ago. He had a great time, and I also had a great time. However, we omitted the process of two unsuitable people tormenting each other.
Consumption is a particularly personal choice, and no woman needs to be ashamed of reasonable economic needs within their own capabilities. If you want to buy a lipstick, it is not inferior or high-end than if you want to buy a book. If you want to travel, it is not inferior to buying a bag of literature or money worship. Enthusiasm and kindness are not nobler or vulgar than warm-hearted financial management.
How you are willing to spend your money is your freedom, and only when your desires exceed your abilities, do you need to be vigilant.
To this day, I am still a woman who loves spending money, but I am not ashamed of it at all. On the contrary, I am quite proud because to maintain the corresponding level of consumption, I must constantly improve my work, study, and coping abilities.
Spend money when you should, but don't waste it. The money spent, the experiences bought, are not wasted. They are the things that seem not essential to life, making women understand what truly good things, good people, and a good life are.
Be frugal when it's time to be frugal, but not stingy. It's just a matter of moderation and not vanity, not just expressing oneself through external things.