Both men and women have this idea in their hearts: "Harmonious relationships must come from the heart, without any concessions or changes." If you think and do this, you will gradually find that this is not feasible. Is very foolish.
"Almost all men believe that 'I work hard outside all day to make money, and when I get home, I should have a good rest.'" However, women feel that 'it would break my heart if I told you it was my birthday or anniversary and you remembered it. The perfect lover in my heart is fully understanding me and meeting all my needs.' "
We need new beliefs because we all aspire to a new marriage relationship. Our elders may be satisfied with a friendship like marriage, but what we crave is a lifelong love. Unfortunately, neither man nor woman has the mature skills to manage 21st century marriage relationships.
How can you make your love last and operate green? In "The New Rules of Marriage," Twison identified five successful strategies. Pursue what you want: Before telling someone what your needs are, ask yourself, "What do I really want now?"
Complaining also requires skills:
Don't complain about what your husband gives you. You need to turn negativity into positivity. "Every complaint is actually a request," said Trevison. "It's best to reduce your complaints and change them into requests.". "The way you talk to me gives me a headache!" can be said as "I really like being polite to you."
Listening and encouraging each other often: Both men and women feel that the other person is not listening carefully to their own voice. Men often feel that they are not appreciated, and they need your listening. From time to time, they are encouraged to work hard and praised for their excellent performance.
Give the other party autonomy:
"People get angry in helplessness. If you feel like you're living in anger, it may be because you're trying to control the other person and the other person doesn't cooperate.". The best way to reduce mutual resentment is not to control each other.
Cherish what you have:
"To cherish the person in front of you, remember that you are talking to the person you love. If you forget because you were too angry and sad at the time, at least remember that he is the person you live with.".
Editor's Conclusion: After helping countless couples save their seemingly irreparable relationship, family therapist Trevison has a different view: "You must work together to solve problems and help each other from time to time.". He believes that this is the most important new creed in the relationship between husband and wife.